ADHD is Still Trending

ADHD still feels like the new trendy accessory everyone's talking about. Awareness has exploded on social media, and it seems everyone thinks they have it. Don't get me wrong, it's brilliant that people are more aware of it now, especially how it manifests differently in boys and girls and comes in all different shapes and sizes. Social media is the reason I went for my diagnosis in the first place. It made me feel less like an alien in my own skin.

But here's the thing - we need to pump the brakes on romanticising ADHD. Because let me tell you, the reality of living with it is about as fun as a funeral.

Despite its misleading name (Attention Deficit), ADHD isn't about not being able to pay attention. It's about not being able to control where that attention goes. Some days - scratch that, some weeks - I feel like my brain's been hijacked. I know what I need to do, but it's like there's a forcefield between me and my to-do list. And the guilt in not doing sed list? Oh, the guilt is the cherry on top of this chaotic ice cream, it sends me into a downward spiral of self-doubt and punishment.

Growing up, I always felt like I was on a different wavelength. Like everyone else got the manual for life, and I was left trying to assemble mine with half the pieces missing and no instructions. I've collected negative labels like fridge magnets - lazy, stupid, too much, and no one ever bothered to stop and ask why.

School. God I hated school. It was one giant memory test that I failed spectacularly, over and over. The having to remember my homework, books, P.E kit and food tech ingredients, felt impossible. The sheer terror of being called on in class, knowing I'd probably forgotten the question before the teacher even finished asking it. It wasn't that I wasn't listening - it's just that my brain is constantly hosting its own party with a hundred different thoughts, and focusing on the question is like trying to hear a whisper from the other side of the room, desperately trying to hear the answer I know I have but just can’t quite catch it to let it out.

Some teachers loved me and worked with my differences, when others absolutely despised me and would jump on any chance to make me feel small.

I got so good at masking my ADHD that it became a double-edged sword. People see me functioning and think, "She seems fine, what's the big deal?" They don't see the mental war happening behind the scenes just to appear "normal".

The struggles with emotional regulation is exhausting. I need to talk things through to make sense of them, to untangle the knot of thoughts in my head. Some people might see it as oversharing or gossiping, but for me, it's like verbal problem-solving. And then there’s the rejection sensitivity. I can sense a shift in someone's tone, an unanswered message feels like a punch to the gut. I know, logically, that not everything is personal, but trying to tell that to my overactive emotions just doesn’t bypass the firewall.

Getting up for work every day feels like preparing for battle. Will today be the day I conquer my to-do list, or will I end up in a pit of despair and self-loathing? It's like playing emotional roulette.

Don't get me wrong, medication helps (that's a whole other blog post waiting to happen), but it's not a magic wand. Stress, anxiety, and a daily sense of overwhelm are my constant companions.

So, next time you see a quirky ADHD meme or a peppy TikTok about hyperfocus superpowers, remember there's a flip side. For some of us, ADHD isn't just a quirky personality trait - it's a daily struggle that's about as glamorous as a bin fire. But hey, at least we can laugh about it... sometimes.